you, m'lady, are a shameless hussy. *high five*

Why does it smell weird in here?

vaginosis?

i went to a 7 year old's birthday party today. the magician was okay.

daisy should have had a magician for her birthday!

i know a guy who'd make a sausage disappear and reappear for her. he'd do it for free, too.

Now now, not when Ganj isn't here to defend himself...

i was talking about dave.

OK that was my second choice.

Actually third. Lode was my second.

there was always boosh

somethin' about that man...

you, m'lady, are a shameless hussy. *high five*

Yes I am. 

Why do I lack patience.

hey, if you figure out why, let me know.

thought: i love waking up to french press coffee and breakfast nearly every morning. i will walk it downstairs to enjoy it on the patio overlooking the ocean. i will probably also do a crossword puzzle. life is nice sometimes.

crossword puzzles are heaven.

Why is anger my immediate reaction to my daughter getting injured? All I can think is, "FUCK I TOLD YOU NOT TO JUMP ON THE COUCH AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY!!"

But instead I take a deep breath and while she screams bloody murder I say, "Are you alright?" while I pick her up off the floor. I examine her for wounds (she is fine but apparently was terrified her "skeleton would be poking out") and explain to her gently that THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS this is why I tell her not to sit on the arm of the couch/jump on the couch/lay on the back of the couch/do anything I tell her not to do.

Jesus Fuck.

>_<

Guess I coulda put that in the random rants thread but this window was already open. OHWELLZ.

I am a non-conformist.

Why is anger my immediate reaction to my daughter getting injured? All I can think is, "FUCK I TOLD YOU NOT TO JUMP ON THE COUCH AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY!!"

But instead I take a deep breath and while she screams bloody murder I say, "Are you alright?" while I pick her up off the floor. I examine her for wounds (she is fine but apparently was terrified her "skeleton would be poking out") and explain to her gently that THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS this is why I tell her not to sit on the arm of the couch/jump on the couch/lay on the back of the couch/do anything I tell her not to do.

Jesus Fuck.

>_<

i actually have said to my daughter "this is why you don't have nice things anymore." my little joey is a maniac.

i went to a 7 year old's birthday party today. the magician was okay.

Last kids party I went to had a clown. He was brilliant, I don't understand the fear of clowns.

I was late taking my gramps to his card game because I slept late for the first time in months.  Also I need a shower and real clothes instead of walking around in my pj's.

went to a little boy's 4y/o birthday party saturday. park in providence on a river, with a huge gazebo that had a carousel. i took 3 rides with my boyfriend's little boy. i forgot how magical that shit seemed when you're small. he was cheesin' the whole time.

Why is anger my immediate reaction to my daughter getting injured? All I can think is, "FUCK I TOLD YOU NOT TO JUMP ON THE COUCH AND NOW YOU KNOW WHY!!"

But instead I take a deep breath and while she screams bloody murder I say, "Are you alright?" while I pick her up off the floor. I examine her for wounds (she is fine but apparently was terrified her "skeleton would be poking out") and explain to her gently that THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS this is why I tell her not to sit on the arm of the couch/jump on the couch/lay on the back of the couch/do anything I tell her not to do.

Jesus Fuck.

>_<

Tee hee.

Just got back from a weekend in the Red River Gorge. River baked potatoes were great. Knocking the water moccasins out of the water with my Glock was fun.

Guinness brats in the fire pit were good enough to make you dig up your great-granny and smack her.

I kissed a tranny on Friday. Took pictures of rich people and danced at a lame party on Saturday. Got lost in Port Authority, shopped at St. Mark's Place, and bit people with my vampire fangs on Sunday.

your weekend was way cooler than mine.

Vampires are faggy ....
I had eye surgery Saturday ...


Wait, who am I fucking on this page?

I just got back from fencing. Apparently my weak died and I was actually hurting Michael today. I feel oddly proud.

sounds fun.

I spent 3 hours in an underground mexican cigar bar in Roppongi with Kyle and a half-egyptian girl puffing on stoogies

that sounds nice.

it was, however the Tequila was expensive (no idea what brand) and I still didn't enjoy it. Scotch for this Kiwi from now on.

Kyle did not hit on a single woman, and totally missed the vibe that the half-egyptian hadn't had a guy in ages and probably would have been receptive..... for all those counting at home.