backstory details: my roommate and i moved into the apartment last august, after both of us ended long-term relationships and each needed to vacate the homes we had shared until then with our respective ex-boyfriends. i landed the apartment through my boss--my landlord is an old friend of hers who had just that month purchased the condo and was almost finished redoing things such as carpeting, painting, new windows, etcetera. i also knew him from around town happenings (if you live here for even a short period of time, you quickly realize you get to know everyone, as well as everyone's business--unfortunately...but that's another topic entirely). anyway, i spoke with this guy, he said he'll give me a great deal on the apartment, no lease, no first/last/security bullshit. i can stay as long as i want, and since there is a 2nd bedroom, i could certainly find a roommate to move in to help with expenses. i couldn't have afforded it on my own, so i turned to my then best friend, who was in a similar situation to mine, as i explained before. aside from the general assholeness she exuded on a regular basis, and her pig sty of a room that i just closed the door on whenever she wasn't home, things were not too terrible. until...

Saturday June 11, 2009

after i close up my bar, i go to meet my bf and his visiting brother out at another place in town, and get there around midnight. in the space of that one hour between midnight and last call at 1am, this girl, trish, causes numerous scenes in front of us with other people in the bar, yelling, calling them names, keeps begging me to go smoke outside, knowing full well that i'm trying to quit for both myself and my boyfriend who hates it. at one point she actually put me in some sort of a headlock thing and dragged me half sideways outside through the pulsing crowd of throngs of people, just to tell me she wanted me to take her home IMMEDIATELY. obviously i refused, as i was finally sick and tired of being her babysitter. she had gone to this bar with a girl who, just about 6 years ago, the two of them were escorted from another of our favorite watering holes for threatening to kill me and slit the throats of all the members of my family (that night it was because i set her off by telling her how nice her hair looked. i am a total asshole!). side story--she's regularly banned on and off from both of these "late-night" spots in our town for being off her rocker inebriated and threatening violence and or actually physically hurting people or property. this night starts to wind down, and she has stormed away from me at the bar about 4 times in a huff and swearing at me after i refused to leave my group to take her home because she "wasn't having fun anymore". she keeps taking off on foot to go home, then suddenly reappears to act happy and congenial again, only to repeat her flip out and leave again. anyhow, we are all outside getting ready to go, and she's back, this time surrounded by a group of 5 maybe 21 y/o guys, strangers of course, two with their arms over her shoulders, and she's telling me she's going to a party at their rental house. i should go too! no thanks. i told her to get in my car and now i would take her home. nope, not happening. i'm tired of arguing with her, turn around, and after a moment she has disappeared with the group of dudes. i get a call about 20 minutes later, she's sobbing, begging me to come get her because the guys supposedly kicked her out of their car. she's somewhere in the streets of our town, too drunk to tell me exactly where. so i'm scanning the area because i'm a fucking sucker, and lo and behold, get pulled over by one of our men in blue, who have a serious penchant for arresting young people and charging them with dui's even when they're not deserved. thank god i knew him, and explained to him the situation at hand. he helped me find her, and eventually i got her home. she had a bit of a rant at the house, threw some stuff around in her room after i left her to go to bed, and then that was it. for that night, anyway.

Tuesday June 14, 2009

i'm working late at the bar, and afterwards am spending the night out away from my apartment. two or three nights a week i spend the night at a relative's house, making sure her 16y/o daughter isn't throwing parties or the like, while her mother works overnight shifts at a local fire department. i receive a phone call around 1:45am from this trainwreck of a girl, screaming and sobbing that i need to come get her at this guy's house. i can hear her on and off again 43 y/o manfriend shouting at her in the background to "GTFO of the house" and calling her a whore (which in all fairness, she is seriously the biggest whore i've ever met). as bad as i feel that i should go rescue her, despite knowing she's probably the one who caused the problem in the first place, i tell her i'm sorry, but i can't leave, i'm in bed, watching my cousin, yada yada. she flips out at me and hangs up. wednesday morning, i'm walking up the stairs to my condo, and what do i see but blood droplets on my deck outside the door, and wait a second! there's no window where there used to be one leading into the kitchen! instead, there's just broken glass and blood everywhere, my personally handmade curtain (fabric i got in scotland) tattered and bloody, blowing in the breeze, with a gaping, glass sharded hole into my kitchen. what the fuck? so i tentatively go into the apartment, and see that the blood trails throughout the kitchen, glass everywhere of course, and down the hallway to her room. i try not to freak out, as my stuff has been strewn about carelessly, and there's bloody clothes all over the bathroom counter and floor. she comes out of her room when she hears me there, and laughs about how this is "so typical trish!" and claims she will take care of it after she finishes work that day at 5. and oh yeah, can i drive her there, late though she is, seeing as her care got repo-ed last november and she has been bumming rides ever since. needless to say, she never cleaned up the blood or the broken glass, and wrote it all off as a joke, while my boyfriend helped me clean up, and he screwed a board in place of the window until she got it repaired. she didn't spend another night here.

Friday June 17, 2009

this crazy bitch hostesses at my restaurant, and for some reason, decided to be extra rude to me all night at work, until she got her shift drink in her, and then was buddy buddy again. very typical. have i mentioned yet that she's on and off multiple medications for her manic depression, and knows full well she shouldn't be drinking a drop? but back to the story. her crazy friend again meets her (i act as though she doesn't exist, because she's a piece of shit, yet i always forgive this girl trish for some reason) and they proceed to drink about 2 bottles of champagne (my boss is the one serving them, also a little tipsy, because i was busy elsewhere). trish begs me to go to the bar after work. i tell her no, because the bf and i are going to a friend's place to play pool. of course, this is also because i'm so embarrassed by her antics, which have clearly been getting crazier and more unsafe as of late, not to mention the facts that she's not welcome at this friend's house because everyone knows she's a nutjob, and that my bf hates her and thinks she's nothing but trash. turns out he's right... anyway, the girls leave, and about half an hour later trish is back, claiming not to have her housekey, can she borrow mine so she doesn't have to smash another window this night? i give it to her, making her promise up and down many times she will not fuck this night up for me, and she will be home when i get there, and/or leave the key for me. does she have her phone? is it charged? wonderful. don't lose my fucking key you crazy bitch. what was i thinking?

i get out of the bar around 1 and head straight to play pool down the road with friends. get a call from trish soon after we arrive. she's screaming that i'm a fucking bitch, a fucking liar, a fucking whore, where the fuck am i, etc. piecing the bits of the night together the next day, it turns out she'd finally gotten a ban for life from one of those 2 bars in town, walked across town to my restaurant looking for me to take her home, and then... (wait for it!)

when my boyfriend and i get home to my apt, it's locked, no key, no sign of trish, her phone is suddenly off, no lights, no nothing. we, especially i, am fucking ripshit. don't you dare lock me out of my own house! especially after all the good things i do for you, save you from getting dateraped (or try to, anyway)...oh, i wanted to murder her. i knew she'd planned on going to vermont the following day with a friend she conned into driving her up there to see her dad for fathers' day (remember the no car thing). i tried calling her: phone's shut off. i call the friend. nothing. i text him i need to know where my house key is. a text comes back: "she says it's in the kitchen and the door is now unlocked." so we go over, and as she said, i walk in the unlocked door. hallelujah. glad to be home, i immediately kick off my shoes, and my first step is into a big shard of glass in my living room. we look around, and see that at some point in the night, she'd been there. the other kitchen window is smashed from the inside, as well as the huge picture window in the living room. same story, smashed from the inside with a blunt object of some sort (later found out she remembered using my hammer to do it). there's glass fucking EVERYWHERE throughout the apartment this time, it really looked as though she was picking up the broken bits and throwing it around. two of my favorite, not to mention expensive, wine glasses are amidst the broken glass mess. what a fucking cunt. in her supposed blackout, she chose things she knew would piss me off most. as well as the fact i'd just hung new curtain rods and curtains in the living room that day.

had to go to the police station. had to talk to my landlord. have had to be embarrassed about how the condo looks from the outside to all our poor neighbors who have had to listen to this girl's fits of drunken rage and craziness over the course of the past week. one of whom is actually her cousin (who hasn't yet invited her to his september wedding, and she's been wondering why! she caused such a huge scene at my brother's wedding when we had to wrestle her keys out of her drunk hands that i didn't speak with her for 6 months until i caved and finally forgave her). anyway, i ran into her cousin in the parking lot yesterday, and he told me he thinks i should get a restraining order and that she's an embarrassment to the whole family, and on their behalf he is so sorry. apparently the two nights when she was up breaking windows and whatnot, he could hear her on the deck and in the apartment for hours late into the nights, laughing maniacally and yelling and shouting and flipping out and throwing things... his condo is all the way across a central yard area, so i can only imagine with the other 3 tenants in our actual building had to hear.

needless to say, she never came home from her what was planned as a 2 day stay in vermont. her parents had her checked into an in-patient psych facility. her father and brother just left, having had to take all of her stuff out, apologizing profusely for her. i feel bad that they had to clean up her filthy pigsty of a room, and even that they had to apologize to me because they're so embarrassed that their 27 y/o daughter/sister would ever behave in such a manner.

what a fucking week. oh yeah, by the way, anyone want to live on cape cod for the summer? only $500/mo! i keep a clean house and i'm rarely ever here!

With the money youre meant to be earning...you can afford it alone.

What a crazy bitch.

Did you know she was this insane beforehand?

Sucks that it didn't work out, but that seems like a pretty reasonable rate you can probably find a non-insane roommate very easily.

$500 a month seems like a really good deal, you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone else.

With the money youre meant to be earning...you can afford it alone.

once again, please stop talking to me about whatever state you think my finances are in. you have no idea to what my income is allotted, or what i do or may be planning to do with the money i make. so with that said, i may be able to afford it alone if i were willing to forgo my plans for the next few years, which i am not. therefore, i cannot afford it alone.

Did you know she was this insane beforehand?

unfortunately, as i alluded to a few previous incidents with her over the years, yes. well, i didn't know she was quite this insane. i knew she'd break her phone whenever she gets pissed about something. i knew she'd caused such an unneccessary scene at a bar a few years ago, she got kicked out and we didn't speak for nearly 2 years over the crazy and untrue things she said to and about me in that public forum. i remember her throwing a fit at the after party of my brother's wedding, which was at my folks' house, because my then-boyfriend had to literally wrestle her keys from her when she had shouted the announcement in front of my family that she was "leaving this shitty party" (or something very close to that effect). she fought us for her keys, then finally gave up, spit in the bf/s face, and stormed off down the road on foot, screaming that she was going to come back with her friend's guns and knives and murder us all. her manfriend came and picked her up that night, promising to keep her locked in the house until she sobered up.

in the recent months since she let her car get repo'ed (and i say "let" because she had been spending a lot of money on clothes and booze and drugs for months, and was on a vacation in north carolina at the time of reposession), her mental stability has been on a serious decline. her outbursts were becoming more and more frequent, and her behavior towards me even when sober was becoming hostile for no apparent reason. the more my relationship developed happily with my current boyfriend, and anytime i would mention something normal and pleasant that happened with my family, or any other friend, she would roll her eyes, snap at me, walk away... she's been so unhappy that i've just always felt so fucking sorry for her, all the while she's been using and manipulating me for her own selfish needs for years. things have come out in the past few days to determine that she has lied different lies to each and every one of her friends/family members, in what seems like an attempt to keep us all compartmentalized in her life, so that nobody can ever all leave her for the same reason (or something like that--i hope i'm making some sense of the mumbo jumbo in my head about all this).

i do hope she doesn't lie to her new therapist/therapy groups about how involved alcohol has been in all of this too. even as of yesterday, having spoken to a mutual friend that she called from the hospital, apparently she is continuing to blame all of this on her medication, claiming that they can "never get the dosages right" and that she has no problem with alcohol whatsoever. i spoke with her father a bit today, just to reiterate the fact to him that yes, she gets inebriated nearly every night, and she has been lying for months to other friends and family members whenever confronted about it (by me or any of our other friends).

hopefully she's hit rock bottom so that she can finally see she truly needs help. i do hope she gets her shit together and can become a functioning adult in society. i do also hope i never have to see her piece of shit face ever again.

With the money youre meant to be earning...you can afford it alone.

once again, please stop talking to me about whatever state you think my finances are in. you have no idea to what my income is allotted, or what i do or may be planning to do with the money i make. so with that said, i may be able to afford it alone if i were willing to forgo my plans for the next few years, which i am not. therefore, i cannot afford it alone.

naaa fuck that...

one. you said you had a $1000 heating bill...cause the girl you lived with left.
two. now you say you moved in with a girl right after you broke up with some guy in august of last year. its a 2 bedroom place.

"you can't seem to let the issue of my overdue electric bill from this past winter drop. financially, it was a rough winter for a lot of americans, especially my roommate, who had to move out, leaving me with double the bills, and considering it was so deep in the off-season here, my income was less than it is now."

three. now some other girl is being typed about ?

i smell a lie. i think your full of shit...not with the story you have typed about in this thread...but with what came before.

"i'm currently averaging about $400-$500 a night. is this a problem?"

the stench keeps getting worse. and it sure as fuck aint comming from me.

Sounds like a cancer removed from your life.  You should be thankful she only broke windows and ruined drapes.  I had a roommate a few years ago that conveniently didn't pay his last three months rent and completely destroyed our security deposit.  I was expecting a $700 check in the mail that fall and ended up getting $15.  With my dad's help I tried to take him to small claims court, but after he moved out of the place he completely fell off the face of the earth.  I couldn't track him down to try and settle, or even just to try and talk to him man to man to see what was going on his life, I straight up never heard from him again.  I have no idea what he is doing or where he is living now.  He was in school at the time for pre-med to be a doctor, and the year we lived together he just completely spun out on drugs and dropped out of school and got fired from his job.

 

I wouldnt worry about. She will come up with some reason not to post. most likely it will be some implication of being above it all. or ignoring it.

what the fuck is your problem? you simply do not have all the facts, and only to shut you up will i divulge a few that will clear this up a bit for your mystified mind.

trish moved out of the apartment at one point this winter (leaving all of her things here, promising to pay rent and utilities and such, claiming she needed to get on her feet), and during the time spent staying at her boyfriend's home, she had been paying a very small amount of her portion of the rent to me. probably averaging about $200/mo of the approximate $600 she'd actually owe per month. thus, i've already been making up the remainder of her portion of our rent for months, as well as the bills. the fact that now she's out once and for all has very little to do with the details surrounding her previous semi-leave of absence, except to further prove how big a piece of shit she is and has always been.

Sounds like a cancer removed from your life.  You should be thankful she only broke windows and ruined drapes.

very true. my boyfriend has been carefully telling me for months that he thinks i should reconsider our friendship, and that sometimes you just can't save someone from their own self destruction. it's a sucky situation all around, but she can no longer drag me down into her shit. she did me a huge favor. a little fact about me: sometimes i have a difficult time walking away from people i feel sorry for. unfortunately, some still haunt me. hopefully she won't.

Holy shit! are your ex roommate and my ex roommate (my brother) related?
God I could go on an on about the similarities!

We are BOTH in better situations. What about having your boyfriend move in? Is this something you guys are ready for?

What about having your boyfriend move in? Is this something you guys are ready for?

I was thinking this too, but I'm assuming Katie has probably already decided for or against it based on her personal life, etc.

i'm pretty much all set with living with a boyfriend unless marriage is something that's seriously on the table. my last breakup was really hard, only made more difficult having to split up possessions and such. "this picture is yours but it's my frame..." sort of thing. it sucked so bad. anyway, he has expressed to me his willingness to help in that capacity, but we talked about it at length, and mutually decided we aren't ready to take things to that level yet, as neither of us wants to ruin any chances for our happy future together. we got together during rebuilding phases of both our lives, so there's still a bit left of that going on. you can never truly go back a step once you've gotten there, i think, at least when it comes to a romantic relationship. it's kinda like once you bring a second girl in, he's always going to want that second girl in the bedroom from now on to achieve maximum turn on factor.

Holy shit! are your ex roommate and my ex roommate (my brother) related?
God I could go on an on about the similarities!

i'm sorry your brother is so fucked up!

what the fuck is your problem? you simply do not have all the facts, and only to shut you up will i divulge a few that will clear this up a bit for your mystified mind.

Nope sorry. I think its rather odd for you to leave out fiscal details on the first run though the story. I dont think your posting just to shut me up either....I think your keeping up appearances

ps. How much of your wage is taken from other people's tips.

Nope sorry. I think its rather odd for you to leave out fiscal details on the first run though the story. I dont think your posting just to shut me up either....I think your keeping up appearances

ps. How much of your wage is taken from other people's tips.

I would consider it rather odd for someone to include personal fiscal details in any story unless the problem was specifically fiscal and they were looking for money advice.  People generally keep information related to their income private.

Living on your own is pretty expensive, and if you are going in on a place with a roommate and they flake out or fuck off on their obligation you are completely fucked because most places require both roommates to sign a lease binding them together.  My current roommate is a real down to earth nice dude and we handle all the rent and utilities together with absolutely no gripe, but if for some reason he went off the deep end and bailed out I would be completely fucked and unable to pay his share of the rent and still handle the other bills in my life.  It sounds like that's what happened to Katie recently, and so that probably had a lot to do with whatever financial difficulties she had.

"you can't seem to let the issue of my overdue electric bill from this past winter drop. financially, it was a rough winter for a lot of americans, especially my roommate, who had to move out, leaving me with double the bills, and considering it was so deep in the off-season here, my income was less than it is now."

Pretty much explains it exactly.

Pretty much explains it exactly.

It also contradicts what you typed. and if you think it's odd for somebody to type about what they earn...

"four or five nights, but who's keeping track? oh yeah, you are. i'm currently averaging about $400-$500 a night. is this a problem? i'm confused."

thats the rest of the post.

It also contradicts what you typed. and if you think it's odd for somebody to type about what they earn...

"four or five nights, but who's keeping track? oh yeah, you are. i'm currently averaging about $400-$500 a night. is this a problem? i'm confused."

If she works as a server of any kind in a resort town of any kind (which I think she does and does), then her business is going to be much higher currently (in the summer) than at the time mentioned (in the winter).  I grew up in a "vacation-economy" town on the shore in Michigan and businesses in our community thrived for 3 months in the summer and then tanked for the rest of the year when the money flew out back to the other end of the state.  In the same way that a bartender is going to make a lot more money working on a Saturday night than he is on a Tuesday afternoon.  There's a lot of financial difficulty adjusted for seasonal variance in income from things like that.  When my parents owned a business when I was growing up we had similar problems with terrible business in the off-months and trying to budget and pay bills with radically swinging income is not easy.

She a manager. So she says. That means shes on a wage of some sort. Now add that to it being illeagal to skim tips in Mass. The lines get blured however with "serving" managers. Either way. She says she could afford to buy a house if she so choosed.

and second. you didnt address the contradiction at all.

Huh. I was sure hip was a prostitute. And I thought they made more money than that. Maybe one of you told me she was a prostitute. That's what it must have been. One of you called her a whore and I took it literally.

Sorry Kate.

What's the psycho roommates number?

I can introduce her to heroin, a street corner, and a smack in the mouth every now and then.

Why does anyone care about hip's personal finances so much? She says she can't pay. Leave it at that. Don't go pulling an eitje and piece together shards of information to come up with a "Fact" that is actually "Non Fact".

Meh it's alright hip. I'm much happier now that he's gone!

But its fun. And I got banned at my other place....

I think the gist is that katie could afford a bigger place, but it would affect whatever other goals she has.


Anyway, you're an idiot for doing the shared arrangement after you'd seen what a nut-job your friend can be. But - people are nice, and it's cool that you had a shot at helping your fucked up friend. You're a kind fool.

I recommend living alone for a while, it takes a little getting used to but it's pretty nice to be accountable to nobody

Your ex roommate had me at... "surrounded by a group of 5 maybe 21 y/o guys."

I know you hate your roommate and she is insane,  but there are two sides to all stories.  Just embrace the past and let it go, it's all you can do at this point.

I don't think the two sides to all stories applies so much when the roommate is insane!

For instance, I had a roommate who gave himself a very nice every day coke habit. Getting him to cough up his 300 bucks per month for rent and utilities (cable, electric) became like pulling fucking teeth. Plus, he stopped buying his own food and started simply eating mine. He'd bring complete strangers he'd never met in his life before back to our house and spend all night snorting coke with them, dump his trash in the kitchen for me to take to the curb, never lifted a finger to clean the house, and was getting a nastier and nastier disposition. Oh yeah, he'd do cute things like go pass out in his room and leave his loaded handgun on the coffee table when my kids were coming over for the day, then when he heard me clearing the magazine and chamber he'd storm out of his room, snatch it from my hands and give me a dirty look, and then stomp back to his room and slam the door.

Finally, after everything exploded one night and he admitted that he didn't have any rent money and the reason he was eating our food (which he had been denying for months) was because he spent all of his money on drugs. I told him that I was already feeding five people (me, my girlfriend, my ex wife, and two kids) and couldn't afford to feed him too.

Long and short of it, I said to him that having somewhere to live for 300 bucks a month wasn't improving his life in any fashion and gave him a 30 days to find somewhere else to live.

His version of the story: We were best friends until I met my girlfriend and she turned me against him and then we kicked him out of the house for no reason with no warning just because we're a couple of big assholes.

Funny, krsna. You're absolutely right. Because my ex roommate is saying I forced him out of here, when he was an excellent roommate!

Trying to fist fight me while drunk (at least that only happened once), destroying my property, drinking parties on weeknights, rarely cleaning anything, eating my food until i put a stop to that, not doing ANY home improvements, girls he's fucking start squatting here.... yeah. That's totally him being an excellent roommate! Granted a lot of that slowed down or stopped since he met his last girlfriend, but it didn't all totally end.

Excellent roommate my ass!