1957 Johnson Seahorse 2 cylinder, 2 cycle, 3hp outboard.

Cost: Ten bucks. And it started right up on the third pull.

It looks like this except it's burgundy with white trim:



Should push my Mutineer out into the wind nicely.

Where do you feed coal into it?

Right between your asscheeks, mate. Right between your asscheeks.

Still no pussy yet?

*sigh* no.

Right between your asscheeks, mate. Right between your asscheeks.

I dont shit diamonds for just anyone, bub...

Finey fine fine. We'll just truck right on down I-10 and NOT stop in New Orleans...

*clenches asscheeks, squeezed out diamonds*

Mosh is a Kegel master.

That's what I thought.

He Mr Shine, he DIAMOND

Diamond studs in peeps genitals,

diamondS  in other peeps assholes.

It's all good.

Yo, lets get this right, Im the only one who shits diamonds around here. I gotta hide my riches somewhere!

Damn, is that where I got all the scratches on my shaft?

Yeah but you screamed like a girl when one of them poked you in your dickhole.

I spit rubys outta my box, that's why you swallowed a few

No I meant my driveshaft. I had to park my truck in your asshole to keep the hoodlums of America Street from vandalizing it.

I'm sure you felt nothing.

old man, isn't there someone you know with a field or something who would let you stash a dozen boats under tarp for 3-4 years?

Yeah don't I wish. I'm gonna look at another Catalina pocket yacht on Saturday, just like the blue one I'm working on. Which, by the way, is pretty much a stripped fiberglass hull almost ready for a coat of epoxy and then some paint.

I'm serious about it. Go online, find some guy who's got land that's not being used and offer him 25% of any profit 5 years from now. You split disposal costs if required. Maybe I'm missing something here...?

I've giving it thought. Thanks for the encouragement.

Hell, if the deal needs sweetening you can fix a wall or get them a boat too

Right now yard space is running about $80/mo per boat. It's pretty common knowledge. But I've been kicking around an idea.

What if I were to set up a non-profit and take boats as donations. Rehab and refit them, sell them at reduced prices so that ANYONE can afford them, pay myself an honest salary, and give the rest of the money to the Chesapeake Bay Foundation?

That way I get to do something I love, get paid to do it, help get other people enthused about sailing and help the local watershed.

I'm not seeing the disadvantage to any of that. You'd also become something of a legend in the yachting community. Do it!

My family has plenty of unused land, but it's in the mountains of WV and comes with a meddling asshole of a great uncle.

Your plan should work well as long as there is no Cash-for-Salty Dogs program.

I keep reading the title as "Zoomie's scare of the week"

If there's a structure where you can pass costs/risk onto another entity or event the city then it's a great idea.

1. Repair the boats and sell them to a charity which you run.
2. The city pays your charity a minimal fee to manage and store the boats, and take disadvantaged children sailing
3. The money you get from this goes to a separate entity where you can renovate and sell boats on contract, at your own pace.

That sorta thing

The thing is, the largest possessor of abandoned boats along the bay are MARINAS. People not only just walk away from their storage fees, sometimes they just dump the boats in the storage yards under cover of darkness. And it costs the owners several thousand dollars per unit to have them crushed and hauled away. So they would welcome a way to get rid of them at no cost as well as give me a place to work on them. I've talked to 4 marina owners and they have at least 4 boats they want gone. And there are 200 marinas in Maryland.

The problem is that without proof of ownership you can't register them, and without registration you can't legally put them in the water.

I'll work it out, give me time.

If present ships can't be retitled from scratch, you could at least try and convince the marinas to start informing their customers that there is a charity which will accept those they would otherwise abandon.

If there's a structure where you can pass costs/risk onto another entity or event the city then it's a great idea.

1. Repair the boats and sell them to a charity which you run.
2. The city pays your charity a minimal fee to manage and store the boats, and take disadvantaged children sailing
3. The money you get from this goes to a separate entity where you can renovate and sell boats on contract, at your own pace.

That sorta thing

Nice idea, Nick. But we have this little thing called the RICO. So basically I could face federal prosecution for circumventing taxation and money laundering under RICO as well as hiding it all behind the guise of a non-profit organization.

An non-profit is basically a corporation with officers and a business plan, that makes money, but it is backed up by a board of trustees that decides how to spend the money.

So with your idea I go to jail for organized crime, and with the governments way I end up shooting 6 old guys who won't pay me.

So as I said, I just have to work on this a bit.

If present ships can't be retitled from scratch, you could at least try and convince the marinas to start informing their customers that there is a charity which will accept those they would otherwise abandon.

Balor if you owed someone $12,000 that you had no intention of paying, would you take their call?

Well you would, just to taunt them, but that's you.

It's a mishmash of marine salvage, corporate law and the pinheads at the Department of Natural Resources, who regulate waterways in MD, and make up the rules as the go along...