there.  smartz problam sulved.

Thus spake Margaret Sanger, "The predator improves the stock."

sasha-- i understand the differences between your "fears" and those phobias of my old roommate. i only meant to suggest the fact that your being so phobic or fearful of something seemingly irrational is a similarity. just like your take-no-shit-whatsoever attitude you say you have in life, and your ability to sympathize with her in a few of the stories i shared here about her lifestyle choices. she had a job, but no car or license, and yes, she was an overall sap on my life. i did not mean to imply that you are a similar emotional and financial drain on your friends and family, just that you have a few personality similarities, not to mention if i could imagine her posting here, she would say lots of the things you do. when i read your posts i almost hear her voice. i bet you two would hate eachother.

as for that ex-boyfriend, i'd probably have punched him in the throat. the closest thing i can compare the interaction to is this: i really like scary and/or horror movies. i love when a movie frightens me. of course, immediately afterward all i want to do is turn the lights on and hide under my covers because every little noise is obviously something scary coming for me and my soul. i had a boyfriend who thought it was hilarious to hide around corners of the darkened house and jump out and scare the everloving shit out of me. this kind of fright is NOT my cup of tea, and would give me heart palpatations. sometimes it would be him waiting in the backseat of my car (which he knew was a serious worry of mine) and wait for me to get in to grab me. sometimes he would hide when i came over, so i'd wander the house, calling his name for a lengthy period of time, and i'd be so frightened by the silent, dark house i'd tear up, beg him to come out, and finally he'd grab me from behind or something, laughing at me for screaming then bursting into tears. so after telling him a million times it was not at all funny to me and i really didn't like that stuff (he thought it too entertaining to stop), everytime he'd pull the act i'd end up smacking him as hard as i could when he would finally emerge to scare me, and usually i would then just tell him how big a jerk he was and turn around and leave. eventually he stopped, but i think he was a fucking dick to so totally exploit scaring me like that so many times.    

When I was a child I was terrified of spontaneous human combustion.

When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse, out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look, but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone...

attn: he who once feared SHC: i laughed the first time you told me that. now that i give it more thought, it must have been a pretty terrifying thought for a little boy. sorry for once making fun!

i'm afraid of dying. no way around it, though, until i can find myself a vampire...

When I was a little boy, I was terrified that the devil was going to bite my penis off.  One of the older boys at church told me that the devil hid in urinals and would bite your penis off.

SHC Fears: Don't sweat it hip.

I'm pretty fucking scared about tomorrow right now.

sasha-- i understand the differences between your "fears" and those phobias of my old roommate. i only meant to suggest the fact that your being so phobic or fearful of something seemingly irrational is a similarity. just like your take-no-shit-whatsoever attitude you say you have in life, and your ability to sympathize with her in a few of the stories i shared here about her lifestyle choices. she had a job, but no car or license, and yes, she was an overall sap on my life. i did not mean to imply that you are a similar emotional and financial drain on your friends and family, just that you have a few personality similarities, not to mention if i could imagine her posting here, she would say lots of the things you do. when i read your posts i almost hear her voice. i bet you two would hate eachother.

as for that ex-boyfriend, i'd probably have punched him in the throat. the closest thing i can compare the interaction to is this: i really like scary and/or horror movies. i love when a movie frightens me. of course, immediately afterward all i want to do is turn the lights on and hide under my covers because every little noise is obviously something scary coming for me and my soul. i had a boyfriend who thought it was hilarious to hide around corners of the darkened house and jump out and scare the everloving shit out of me. this kind of fright is NOT my cup of tea, and would give me heart palpatations. sometimes it would be him waiting in the backseat of my car (which he knew was a serious worry of mine) and wait for me to get in to grab me. sometimes he would hide when i came over, so i'd wander the house, calling his name for a lengthy period of time, and i'd be so frightened by the silent, dark house i'd tear up, beg him to come out, and finally he'd grab me from behind or something, laughing at me for screaming then bursting into tears. so after telling him a million times it was not at all funny to me and i really didn't like that stuff (he thought it too entertaining to stop), everytime he'd pull the act i'd end up smacking him as hard as i could when he would finally emerge to scare me, and usually i would then just tell him how big a jerk he was and turn around and leave. eventually he stopped, but i think he was a fucking dick to so totally exploit scaring me like that so many times.    

You should thank him for reminding you that you are never safe, ever.

I don't have a problem with velvet but silk and some synthetics drive me up the wall if I have to touch them.

Not to the point of throwing up though.

Eugenics is being used now to manipulate the human gene pool.  Maybe one day there will be no more fat people for us to consume after all the bovine become extinct through the designing of our own children.  Bummer, that was the only thing I was looking forward to in my future.

Who will we laugh at, on that day? Through whom shall we pratfall, vicariously?

I'm pretty fucking scared about tomorrow right now.

Why is that?

I wonder how much sweat can a sweaty vag sweat, if a sweaty vag could sweat sweat.

I'm pretty fucking scared about tomorrow right now.

Why is that?

New school. First day.
Went okay, spent lunchtime reading on my own.. haha...

I wasn't fishing for someone to ask me btw, sorry..

I know. thought I'd ask anyway.

So, you gonna set up a pirate radio station in your basement too?

When I was 7 or 8, I had a fear of these little chocolate people I would see out of the corner of my eye. I don't mean little chocolate people like Beetlejuice, but rather kid size being made of milk chocolate covered flesh with no eyes. It kind of creeped me out until I turned about 10. Since then, I've lived a fearless life.

My Boogie-Man was The Hand (first spooky movie i ever saw)

i would have to get a running start, and long jump into bed

I used to be scared of witches when I was 5-6 and younger. Yes, witches. So vivid was my fear that I actually hallucinated that I saw two of them in a dark room I had been forced to enter. It remains one of those "glitch in the matrix" things for me because yes I really actually saw something which clearly wasn't there. Amazing stuff, fear.

 A thing of value some of my friends have learned is that, regardless of how tough they may try to  act, black dudes from the ghetto are scared of magic.

Yup. Bad juju. They also don't like getting their faces cut. So the first thing you do is let them know you'll carve your initials in their face. My black friends taught me that when I was about 12.

Of course it got my ass beat down a few times before I learned you have to actually carry a knife and not be seriously outnumbered for it to work...

They also don't like getting their faces cut.

The Harder they come: Classic Fight Scene

DON'T. FUCK. WITH. ME.

Black people are also afraid of swimming pools.

and any sort of reptile. Especially snakes.

If being afraid of having your face cut is black, consider me Miles Davis.

If being afraid of having your face cut is black, consider me Miles Davis.

A dead, gay black jazz musician.

Sure, I can do that, if that's what you really, really want.

I used to be scared of witches when I was 5-6 and younger. Yes, witches. So vivid was my fear that I actually hallucinated that I saw two of them in a dark room I had been forced to enter. It remains one of those "glitch in the matrix" things for me because yes I really actually saw something which clearly wasn't there. Amazing stuff, fear.

Haha, you thought they weren't there? Cute.  They said to say hi.  And "Smile!".


All of my old fears I can quell pretty quickly, so long as I don't have to put up with them for too long.  Like Mirrors.  I hate mirrors, especially the big ones you see in peoples' bedrooms over a dresser, or in bathrooms.  When I moved into this house last December, and me and my dad were moving stuff into y bedroom, I sat on the bed, looked across at the giant, almost full-length mirror mounted on the dresser a few feet away and said, "OK, that thing's gotta fucking go."  My dad laughed and said I had to be fuckin' kidding and I told him, "No, I will not be able to sleep with that thing there.  Either it goes or I'm sleeping on the couch in the living room."  We then took it down and put it in one of the back bedrooms with a bunch of my uncle's old crap.

It's the same way with dolls.  I fucking hate people who keep dolls all over the place as collector's items, because they freak me right the fuck out.  When I was in my mid 20's I lived with my grandmother for a couple years because she didn't like living alone after my grandfather died (us cousins would switch out staying with her from time to time), and she had a bunch of old collector's dolls around the house, one of which was in the bedroom I stayed in - an old aunt Jemima doll sitting on the dresser.  I just knewthat fuckin' thing was watching me every night.  I knew it was crazy, but I had to turn it around to face the wall every night because I could feel it watching me, and she would come in there to straighten up while I was at work, and turn it back around forward again.  And for some reason she refused to let me move it to another room, I still don't know why.  Fuck that little negro doll.