It was 5:45pm, I'm trying to make Tikka Masala, and fucking kids are knocking on my door already. Murdoch barged out and knocked to little fucker on his ass, I turn to his dad and asked, "Isn't it a little early?" and he says in the dull tones of a typical Gurny-ite, "Izzzzz Hal-ween, man..."

This is the only part of this holiday I hate: Dealing with my local white trash and their little retarded booger eaters...

Shup old man and make with the chocolate.

Father Christmas, give us some money...

Zoomie probably has shitty candy made out of recycled aluminum cans and yard trimmings anyway.

Bah!

Chocolate Covered Compost ...

It's $.59/bag for 1000 pieces, and, fuck, I'm just giving it away anyway!

MOMMY MOMMY!  THE OLD GINGER MAN ACROSS THE STREET...YOU KNOW, THE ONE OBSESSED WITH LIZARDS AND SAILBOATS?......HE, HE...JUST STARTED GOING CRAZY AND BEATING UP ALL THE OTHER KIDS!  AND HE GAVE ME FUCKING NECCO WAFERS AND CANDY CORN!

We just left a pile of candy on the stoop.

I usually get drunk and tell kids about Satan, but wasn't feeling up to it this year.

hahahahaha ...
I can SO picture this too ....

Actually we had fun size Snickers, Twix and Three Musketeers. Tulip was supposed to get an extra bag of Mounds in case we needed it, but could have for ourselves but she got Almond Joy by mistake. I hate milk chocolate...

I love NECCO wafers, I used to eat them in church to keep from falling asleep.

NECCO wafers - bone meal and earwig honey.

MOMMY MOMMY!  THE OLD GINGER MAN ACROSS THE STREET...YOU KNOW, THE ONE OBSESSED WITH LIZARDS AND SAILBOATS?......HE, HE...JUST STARTED GOING CRAZY AND BEATING UP ALL THE OTHER KIDS!  AND HE GAVE ME FUCKING NECCO WAFERS AND CANDY CORN!

also he is wearing a skirt and boots and nothing else!

No baby, I only do that for you...