i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.

Another detail thats missing is how long the dry hump lasted.

Wait.......are we fucking dinosaurs?

When I travel back in time my ejaculation un-splatters and reconvenes to reverse enter my penis, flow into my balls, and evaporate.

aaagh, you're like magics

*claps*

What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Did you scratch the stain after it dried to see if it left a stiff spot or not?

No.

This thread makes me wantr to shit out gold chains.

are those the ones you've shit out so far?

This thread makes me want to cry.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Which means I'll hear it chinese whispers style. The guy had a purple monkey dishwasher.

i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.

... and she's cute as heel (sounding) when she does!

What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Well, it was a barter, was it not?
hahaha ...

shhh, dave! don't talk about me like that now, i'm somebody's mom!

 

At my age, that's even hotter ...

Mr. Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.

oh, c'mon. if you didn't scare him off with all that weird talk about fucking him in the ass he might be worth a second chance.

Nope. He creeps me right the fuck out.

well, that's a valid reason. for you, i mean.

i think i tend to gravitate towards the creepy guys.

He creeps me out in a "one step away from date rape" kinda way.

It's a fun fine line to walk ...

Mr. DRY-Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.

I fixed that for you ...

Well did you reply?

I said "Not much." Then he replied and asked me what I did on Saturday. I didn't respond to that one.

It's very anticlimactic.

W3rd ...

SKANK

DRUGGIE

If a guy can't handle my jokes, then he's not a guy I would want to hang out with anyways.

pun intended!

Well of course I know, if he got me naked he'd try his damndest to have sex with me but I wouldn't go for it anyways if I didn't want to.

I've never slept with a girl who I didn't nail the first night/first time I tried. Once they deny me sex I shut down that avenue of thought so I don't come off as creepy. There have been a few times I could tell one of these denier chicks wanted it later, but fuck that. I don't need to be jerked around. Now it's her turn to feel unwanted.

EDIT: OK there's a slight exception that's ahppened to me only once. The chick is allowed to change her mind the same night after denying me. That delights me.

Like I said, I felt that I was being pressured. It was a turn off. I don't know why I felt like I could give myself a chance to get into it, I should've just kicked him out. And I definitely don't want to go out with him again.

He was dry humping you and came?

Seriously. Especially with you telling him all kinds of stuff that clearly didn't turn him on. If he could still get himself off despite all that from just dry humping, the dude would probably last like 2.67 seconds if you actually screwed him.