Again, so I did my usual cryptic search for effective suicide methods, even though I know them all by heart. I stumbled upon this gem: Other methods http://www.ctrl-c.liu.se/~ingvar/methods/other.html
Which is now book marked forever as a reminder that not only is suicide horribly selfish, its a waste of time and it most likely Hurts Really Bad! Or you might end up LIVING!

You've got to read to the end to see why I'm keeping it for future use.

I laughed so long... I feel awesome now!

I went on a few ridealongs with a paramedic friend and she said some of the worst things they respond to are failed suicides - people will flinch and blow their face off but not kill themselves.

I know I'm fucked up, but, it took reading a lot of those kinds of stories and talking to a lot of people who survived failed suicide attempts.... To stop believing it was an option for me.

I went on a few ridealongs with a paramedic friend and she said some of the worst things they respond to are failed suicides - people will flinch and blow their face off but not kill themselves.

I have LOTS of stories of failed suicide attempts in my professional life ...
... many are just like that

Not quite on topic, but... much more effective than believing suicide is a sin, is not believing in any sort of afterlife. I'd be lying if I said I'd never considered ending it, but the idea of just giving up and not trying something different? Nah. There are literally endless options to consider, so throwing in the towel and ending any shot one has of making anything better is a real cop-out in most situations.

There are so many others in the world who deserve to die, as I've said before if someone really wants to end it, why not do some good in the process.

plastic explosive is easy and cheap enough to make and if one just mixes $5 of various scrap hardware into the mix and steps into a crowd...

A crowd of what?

Not quite on topic, but... much more effective than believing suicide is a sin, is not believing in any sort of afterlife. I'd be lying if I said I'd never considered ending it, but the idea of just giving up and not trying something different? Nah. There are literally endless options to consider, so throwing in the towel and ending any shot one has of making anything better is a real cop-out in most situations.

YES! It took me several years to crawl out of the hole I had made, and I didn't even realize that I created the hole. I am glad I found my way out of that desolate wasteland, as well as out of denial.

This is how I feel and think of things now, Si.

The easiest and best way for me to leave those feelings behind is to do something that creates Exactly the Opposite of the feeling I currently have.

And I have kind of a twisted bent, so, reading that 'effective suicide' list all the way through helped.... because the methods just became more ridiculous as the list went on.

Watching comedies, the kind that make me gut-laugh, are the best. Also, Making a meal and giving it to someone who is sick or just can't really cook for themselves works great too... Going to volunteer at the City Union Mission...

A crowd of what?

Two-legged sheep.

A crowd of what?

Two-legged sheep.

I knew that

I forget whether it was Camus or Sartre that said not only is suicide repugnantly selfish, but it is an abandonment of duty to your existence. People sometimes rationalize inefficiently on this level. Rather than wallowing in self-misery, turn that negative energy into something that others can value. For example, Sartre was a POW in a Nazi prisoner camp and instead of descending into the depths of melancholy with those around him, he wrote and produce plays for others to perform, inevitably raising their morale.

Sure, existence is inane, hopeless, pointless et al., but you must do something with it. I suppose that's the pithy, shortened version of the quote.

I believe Camus talks about suicide extensively in The Myth of Sisyphus. You might try looking around for it.

Excellent point that MOST don't even realize about Sartre ...

Ahhhhhhhh...........

Excellent point that MOST don't even realize about Sartre ...

True. Its a good thing I never did drive off that bridge... There are hundreds of thousands of things I have yet to do.

Do me first.

I actually said, "I wonder who's going to ask that first; Zoomie or Tru ..."

Zoomie wins. He always wins.

Welp; sorry, Mike ...

I could send Tru some deity drawings or pictures. Why the fuck dont we all get together and get fucked up? You guys have done that before, right? Lets go crash the Antigua party.

Well, with the Super Bowl coming up, I'm sure Si's a little too busy for us at the moment ...