... or couches, or anywhere where you won't scare the hell out of women and children

I meant more comfort-wise, but there's that too.

The ground, or a rock in Central Park are comfortable; just not necessarily to those around us ...

CST: Married sex is like saying military intelligence.

I just asked Leah and she said she'd do it outdoors almost any time ...
(W00T!!!)

Why are you giving them names Dave?  It confuses me.  I would prefer if you just numbered them. 

I can do that, she'll be, uhm, hmmm ...
#2 ...

My hoe from another area code told me that he thinks of me as "betty page with texas inspiration."  How?!

See, now I have to number them, and probably tag them as well ...
I'll just tattoo it on the back of their heads or something ...

just above the ol' brown-eye.

I number them by area code if they are out of state and just consecutively if they are in my greater metro area.  Makes things easier and more organized.

I need to get you a little filing cabinet. 

I need to get you a little several filing cabinet cabinets. 

CT: Who wants to get a pool going of when I get laid again. It has been three months so far.

Oh man.

That sucks. Divorce FTW!

This is going to get a lot worse and I doubt that brighter days are on the horizon.

Let me guess, you can't get laid cause your old lady is always mad at you because everything you do (no matter what it is) somehow pisses her off.

speaking from experience?

Duh.

No, not exactly. She hasn't been a  fan of herself and no matter what I do to let her know just how wonderful she is, it backfires. She is constantly seeking friends to hang out with who "get" us, but  they always seem to flake out on her. This has gone on for some years. My associations are loose but quite long term. She also has been completing another degree for a number of years which has taken her social life hostage. In all of this, I can't get laid. blah.

Try getting her drunk.  Make a romantic dinner and serve wine with it.  I know it sounds cheesy, but just do it.  Times are desperate!

She doesn't drink and doesn't want to eat anything but corn chips and queso.

Oooooh! She got a sister?

She does and her sister is hot and likes to eat bacon.

It's been my dream to be with a woman who eats junk food (and bacon) and denies me sex...

She does grunt a lot. And when my wife and I were dating about 12 years ago, we broke up for a few months. In that time I hooked up with her cousin. She's hot, too.

It's been my dream to become a woman who eats junk food (and bacon).

fixed

When I was a young'un in the south, the races didn't mix. We wanted to but we was a'feared...

Brian, I'm starting to see hip's point. You left out a word or two and that made no sense. Epic FAIL.

Here's a question I havent thought of before..

You a country boy Aaron ?

(did i really need to put the 'fixed' in ?)

Here's a question I hadn't thought of before...

Is English your native tongue Brian?

Actually I grew up in the swampy wilds of South Merritt Island, Florida. So yeah, that kinda makes me a country boy. I can skin a buck, I can run a trotline, and a country boy can survive.