I met a guy off of okcupid the other night and I have noticed that when a guy says he is 5'9" he is really 5'6".  Fucking lame.  I made him meet my friend Marissa and I downtown for a laugh and I wore heels and he barely came to my chin in height.  Internet dating is shit.

Your loss.  Myself and the rest of the 5'6" men on this planet know how to please a lady.  We have to because we get so many fewer chances than tall guys do because of preconceived notions like yours.  He's only 5'6" but he probably could have torn you in two.  I'm just saying.  Next time you get a shot with a short guy, let him dip his hand into your cookie jar.  Maybe you won't be disappointed.  I've never gotten any complaints.

Chad's lovestick is amazing!

"Hi,

Just read your ad. Still looking?    A little about me: I am French, 6 foor tall, blond and in good shape (or so I like tothink)  If you are interested, hit the reply button and let's see whereitgoes...

Frenchy

PS: I promise a longer email once I know you are for real."

Let's see WHEREITGOES!

Hehehe... *evil laugh*

I want a new friends - 21 (south austin)
Reply to: pers-u5tsh-1156560046@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-05, 8:09PM CDT


My name is boom. I'm an exchang student from Thailand for 4 month,I will come back in July.
I want to chang the great experience during I stay.
I want to find a new polite friend for suggest me everythings and take me travel around Texas.
But I speak English not well, if it's possibly can you teach me for English.
I hope to see you.

http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/1156560046.html

Welcome to America! Oh what's that called in English? Oh that's a "cock".

Moron. She wants money for the Airfare. Why post so far in advance.

Dude, that's a ladyboy.

Hit that shit, Kyle.

That chick has a fucked up face.  I don't know if I can even condone you hitting that Kyle.

I wouldn't hit that with either of your dicks

I haven't hit anything as ugly as her (and really, it's only the nose), but I've hit much fatter. 

That chick has a fucked up face.  I don't know if I can even condone you hitting that Kyle.

I haven't hit anything as ugly as her (and really, it's only the nose), but I've hit much fatter. 

I'm missing something, she really doesn't look that bad to me.. And by not bad I meant she looks pretty to me.

maybe some of you can't tell, but that chick would totally have a moustache if she didn't wax/shave/tweeze it.

That chick is fug. I would not hit it.

Check it out! Another Thai in Austin.

My name is Lay. I am an exchang student from Thailand . I live here since March and will come back about July. I live here with my 2 loved friend that come together
I want to find a new good friend in Austin for my good memory, the first time in USA, the one who can suggest me everything.
I know I am not beautiful and speak English not fluent but I'm smily ,honestly,friendly and so fun
I hope to have a new good friend.
Lay,

http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/1157904061.html


Hahaha their names are "Boom" and "Lay". Hmmm.

How come they are always talking about coming back in July.  I think these are mailorder bride type chicks.  Maybe you should make one your bride Kyle.

I'll pass.

I just want hot sex.

Yeah, that first one is a man...the nose is too wide to be female.

I dunno, Kyle; expand your horizons ...

I ditto the suggestion.  Maybe you will come off less creepy as "the gay friend".

Would it help in your case, as a female?

I'm using mailcatch.com so I didn't see a picture.

Another:
"whats up hun, i'm ****** from ******.. i am very interested in your ad...i'm 26 yrs old ,italian male, very clean cut, 160 lbs, athletic build, handsome , calm and laid back and easy going person. i am down for some excitement as well. I also have nice lips and a gorgeous smile. I sent a pic, i hope that you like it. I have more to send as well if your interested in me. 
Honestly i feel i have something different to offer than any other men on here, so if you give me a chance you will see that and i promise you wont regret it.i look forward to hearing from you. So email me back as soon as you can or give me a cal at ********** so we can talk further and maybe take things from there.hopefully i will hear from you soon... "

"something different to offer" I'm thinking tranny??

Funny thing; it turns out that was in her wheelhouse ...
haha ...