So my sister often sends me these forwards, like "How to get an Iraqi to admit he's a terrorist" and such shit. She lives in the wasteland between Rochester and Syracuse, NY, two very lefty cities. The 'necks in between are gun-totin conservative assholes.
So today she sent me this lovely, sterling wit:
Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a
sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He
must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time,
all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked
to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for
one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of
their house to prove they are not Muslims, & to demonstrate they think
it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, & to show support for
all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold
6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The
American gov't appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists &
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America !
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't send this to at
least 5 people you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward &
are in the position of posing as a national threat.
To which I replied:
Hmmm.. The Quran says that, you are absolutely correct. But what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives." (Lev 20:13)
"Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no immoral or impure or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient." (Ephesians 5:3-7)
So then, by these standards, and by the climate of religious tolerance in the US today, the following people should be immediately put to death with official saction of the current seated Pope:
Sen. John Ensign (R-NV)
Rudy Giuliani (R-NY)
Gov John Sanford (R-SC)
Gov Eliot Spitzer (D-NY)
Gov Charlie Crist (R-FL)
Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID)
Rep Mark Foley (R-FL)
Mayor James West (R-Spokane, WA)
Rep John Hinson (R-MS)
Rep Bob Bauman (R-MD)
Sen John Edwards (D-NC)
Sen Bob Packwood (R-OR)
Rep Don Sherwood (R-PA)
Gov Paul Patton (D-KY)
Sen Jack Ryan (R-IL)
Assistant Secretary of Defense Pete Williams (Dick Cheney Staff so obviously R)
Pastor Ted Haggard (New Life Evangelical Church, Colorado Springs)
Rev Jimmy Swaggart (Family Worship Center, Baton Rouge, LA)
Cardinal Roger Mahoney (Los Angeles Catholic Archdiocese)
(Does it get any more conservative than these last three?)
Should I continue? And these are the ones we know about, but we'll find more, because it's vitally important to national security of our country to know who is a homosexual and who isn't, who is cheating on their spouse and who isn't. Right?
The trend here is that the hypocritical RIGHT (Christian and otherwise) are 70% more likely to either be a closeted homosexual or to cheat on their spouses, and then scream and yell and jump up and down that such things are polluting "THEIR AMERICA".
Here's a neat idea: Love and be nice to everyone.
I get the feeling that Jesus would approve of that.
Regards
are in the position of posing as a national threat.
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