Were they about to do it anyway and she passed out?
Don't know the answer to that one.
Was he as drunk as she was?
From what I gather, no.
from what I understand the two sides play it out like this
Yes! It's date rapeThere is a scene where the woman continuously takes shots, SR's character does not. Therefore, he is 100% sober, and she is not. Other scenes show her completely inebriated, and he is still of sound mind. Therefore the sex scene is date rape, since the character is too drunk to be actually consenting. Therefore, SR is making light of sexual assault.
No! It's not date rapeThere is dramatic tension when SR's character is clearly having sex with what seems like a passed out woman. SR's character asks the female character to acknowledge the act and she does not at first... SR's character immediately develops a worried look... but she responds with "Motherfucker, Don't stop!" (or whatever it was), thus acknowledging the act and thus giving her consent.
As a side note, i completely agree with you, Krsna, and I'm a proud feminist.
There's a difference between drunk girl at the bar looking for attention syndrome, and someone who has been drugged and taken advantage of. Rape is a serious charge, but I think it can (sometimes) be thrown around to destroy men, to make right on something that someone now regrets.
It's hard to say exactly what's happening in the scene. Did the character say "NO" at any point? No, when a person MEANS no, is rape. But that doesn't seem to be the case.
It just seems to be some pretty confusing writing that SR ought to put a clear statement out explaining his intentions to shut everyone up, on both sides.