Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_boilerplate_phrases_that_kill_resumes-97

Quote

* Results-oriented professional
* Cross-functional teams
* More than
years of progressively responsible experience

* Superior (or excellent) communication skills
* Strong work ethic
* Met or exceeded expectations
* Proven track record of success
* Works well with all levels of staff
* Team player
* Bottom-line orientation

Good thing I don't have to worry about this ....

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #1 on: July 06, 2009, 03:49:03 PM

1 Way to Kill Your Resume

* Listen to dumb advice from stupid bitches on Yahoo Jobs.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #2 on: July 06, 2009, 03:49:36 PM

Quote

* Convicted Serial Child-Molester

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #3 on: July 06, 2009, 03:57:14 PM

Quote from: Zoomie on July 06, 2009, 03:49:36 PM

Quote
* Convicted Serial Child-Molester

Too strong, try modifying to:

* Good With Children, Hands on Experience Conducting Enjoyable Activities

« *Last Edit: July 06, 2009, 04:02:24 PM by Zoomie* »

Got it.

You made a good point though. I don't use Yahoo's search engine, why would I use their job advice? In my line of work I won't take a job if they require a resume.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #5 on: July 06, 2009, 05:21:49 PM

That bullshit is probably what the employer put in their ad, though, because human resource employees are typically bubbly half-wits.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #6 on: July 06, 2009, 05:24:33 PM

Werd.

Ooooh, I feel so... urban!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM

W3rd ...

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #8 on: July 06, 2009, 07:12:41 PM

I've never been to a Job interview before. Never had a resume either.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #9 on: July 06, 2009, 09:10:00 PM

I just put down what I can do, what I have done, and that I dig sports.

« *Last Edit: July 06, 2009, 10:39:18 PM by Daddy* »

The last two jobs I held before my present employment (my full-time job and the radio gig), there was no call for a resume. I walked into the company owner's office. He asked if I could do the job for x amount of money, I said, yes. That was it. My present contractor job was a metric fuckton more probing.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #11 on: July 06, 2009, 10:33:58 PM

I should have written, "I'm overqualified for your job but I really just don't like responsibility" based on almost every single job for which I've ever applied.

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM

Right ...

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #13 on: July 13, 2009, 04:05:21 AM

Quote from: Daddy on July 06, 2009, 10:31:04 PM

My present contractor job was a metric fuckton more probing.

Like this?

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #14 on: July 13, 2009, 06:18:08 PM

I feel bad for the jizz moppers after THAT one.

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #15 on: July 18, 2009, 10:00:23 AM

Quote from: Lothar on July 13, 2009, 06:18:08 PM

I feel bad for the jizz moppers after THAT one.

Can you really imagine a scenario in which you DON'T feel bad for jizz-moppers?

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM

Good point ...

Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume Reply #17 on: July 19, 2009, 04:39:16 PM

Quote from: homeless-joe on July 06, 2009, 07:12:41 PM

I've never been to a Job interview before. Never had a resume either.