I think I learned my lesson. 

FWB = No Exclusivity Clause

Sorry, those are the rules ...

Fucking bagman.

Yeah dude, he totally stole your "shit growing on my junk" thunder.

IKR!  Bastard.

I got a call from the doctor's office today, and all my tests came back negative. Not this time HIV, not this time. 

Congrats baggy, I also want to confirm that you are dating this chick.

And by "this chick" she means your girlfriend.

Actually I meant wife!

Good job Kyle.  I went to the std clinic today and took an HIV test, but it doesn't really mean shit until you've waited three months after the last time you had contact with someone.

Guess you're never getting a definitive result then.

don't be a dork wrap  your pork.

Sash, she's getting her test, so I only have to wait another few weeks. No sense in me testing AGAIN in 3 months if her results comes back negative, and she's not getting dicked by another dude. Unlike your one-night stands, she's stuck around and we've talked about tests and shit. She said her last one was about 7 months ago, and between that time and when she met me (~4 months ago), she hadn't had sex with anybody else. We chatted or whatever via text and she said she hasn't had sex with anybody else while having it with me either. 

Oh and btw. I think we ARE dating. Going to see a movie tonight, with obviously no sex occurring afterward because my bumps haven't completely cleared away, and I will probably end up paying for the movie/food.

*shakes head*

wow Kyle, you're just like a real 15 year old now

ZING!

It felt so awkward to me. Making the feeling worse, we ending up watching Paper Heart. About a chick who doesn't think she can love anybody or that anybody would love her.
Paper Heart - Trailer

I'm stressed out.

EDIT: I guess I might also add that she was looking stunning this evening... don't know if she changed something up with her look (I couldn't pinpoint it if so) of if she just was warm and fuzzy and had a glow about her. She's a number one stunna. HOT.

she had to look good if she was gonna get laid after you said goodnight dude.

Bagman has a girlfriend!

I don't know what your girlfriends name is, but for this example I'll call her Sue.

Next time you introduce her to someone, say, "Bob, this is my girlfriend Sue. Sue, this is my friend Bob."

The end.

She needs a more imaginative name. I'm thinking Hannah Monhandjob.

She needs a more imaginative name. I'm thinking Hannah Monhandjob HAND-duh M-a-handjob.

Fixed!

she was looking stunning this evening... don't know if she changed something up with her look

Nah, you're just falling in love.

Can't help falling in love- UB40

How about KyleDriver?

I'm going to need a picture of this chic to make sure she's a for real gal and not just a cardboard cut out of pink crayon.

She texted me cute little notes today. Aw. Great. 

Bad, bad fucking news. Three more bumps came up today. Two of them were on the base of my penis, and the other one up in the mons area where the others are. WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ON ME GOD? I have been changing my sheets a few times a week, changing my towels frequently, not picking or scratching, putting the Zymaderm on nightly after my shower, and for ASGJASRKL:TGWERAGTWhgklag all of this I get 3 MORE? jhioho;ghohjiodgjkl'

I tore the two off the base of my penis off. Fuck this shit.

All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it.  This is too good!

HAHAHAHAHA!

W00t!

This gets better and better with each day!

It can take up to 13 months for your immune system to fight it off completely, Kyle, and until then, even if no sores are apparent, it may still come back or be transmitted to another.

So, have fun with that.