it's my day off again, which means one thing (besides thinking of reasons not to burn down my restaurant): masturbating.

i love my days off. i also love my vibrator, and usually employ it during masturbation sessions. i'll fuck myself with it (not in the bum, it's a front door only tool), tease myself with it, put it right on the sweet spot when i've tormented myself enough and will finally let myself cum... when not in the shower with it (as i've previously discussed on another thread), i'll bring it to bed with me, and my latest theme is to dream up some seriously hot punishment/spanking scenarios between my boyfriend and i. i generally don't fantasize about anyone but the person i'm currently sleeping with/seeing. i've heard that guys usually DO fantasize about other women, even despite being in a monogamous relationshit. today i'm guessing i'll probably get myself off a handful of seperate times, not counting the multiples within each session. often insatiable, i just can't stop touching myself.

techniques, fantasties to get off, etcetera. please expand and discuss.

That's interesting now that I think about it.  I don't think I've fantasized about anyone else while masturbating since I've been in a relationship, but I used to do it all the time when I was single.  Nowadays I just pop in some Youporn and hit it and then be done with it.

I don't have a vibrator and never have owned one (except for a shitty silver bullet that came with my dildo, the bullet broke). My dildo is pretty awesome though. I don't really masturbate all that much, anywhere from 0-2 times per week usually. I don't know why this is. I think when I'm getting laid more regularly I want it more. I usually watch porn or read erotica. Sometimes I fantasize if I have a specific person in mind that I want to get dirty with. And depending on that person, I fantasize about different scenarios. I think if I ever get a viibrator, I'll get something like this: http://www.smittenkittenonline.com/vibrators/layaspot.html
It's supposed to be similar to oral, and it's really difficult for me to get off from oral so maybe that would help me with that problem.

Danzig can help you out with that, he's the best pussy licker ever.

I have some sort of mental block. It's not a matter of skills.

Did somebody vomit on your vagina once?

No.

Maybe they should have then dirty girl. Yeah, you'd like a little chunky bile on your hoo hah wouldn't you?

Yeah, that's it. You should get a nice boy to eat some nice chunky casserole with a creamy sauce on a bed of egg noodles and then let loose. That'll get you going I bet.

You are so naughty.

No.

Man, you make no sense. I thought you were into kinky shit. Do you have some kind of weird issue with vomit or something?

Yeah, not into vomit so much.

Weirdo.

Yeah, they're probably in there peeing on each other...

Cuz you're so normal...

Who's peeing on someone?

I just stroked one off in Krsna's Megan Fox thread, it's going to take me a minute or too before I'm ready to go again here

0:28 freeze-frame huh?

It's supposed to be similar to oral, and it's really difficult for me to get off from oral so maybe that would help me with that problem.

I use cough drops on girls like you.  It sometimes helps.

What do you... do... with the cough drops?

*cough*pervert*cough*

Or maybe I should say where do you put these cough drops? Dr. Thrash would suggest in the butt.

OK Everyone knows girls don't masturbate. This whole thread is ridiculous.
I'm going out tonight and I'm coming back very drunk and probably high. I expect to see hard proof of these putative activities or none of it happened.
Good day.

Can't you just wonder how menthol might make your privates feel?

Good day.

I SAID GOOD DAY.

Can't you just wonder how menthol might make your privates feel?

I know the answer to this question strangely enough.

I get freaky with meh kitteh a few times a week. Doesn't matter if I have a partner at the time or not. A go around is a go around.

I used to call up my ex at work while I was doing the deed so he could hear it. Poor boy had to pull over quite a few times. Surprised he didn't get caught.. or fired.

I just blew a huge load of Jesus and salvation.

it's my day off again, which means one thing (besides thinking of reasons not to burn down my restaurant): masturbating.

i love my days off. i also love my vibrator, and usually employ it during masturbation sessions. i'll fuck myself with it (not in the bum, it's a front door only tool), tease myself with it, put it right on the sweet spot when i've tormented myself enough and will finally let myself cum... when not in the shower with it (as i've previously discussed on another thread), i'll bring it to bed with me, and my latest theme is to dream up some seriously hot punishment/spanking scenarios between my boyfriend and i. i generally don't fantasize about anyone but the person i'm currently sleeping with/seeing. i've heard that guys usually DO fantasize about other women, even despite being in a monogamous relationshit. today i'm guessing i'll probably get myself off a handful of seperate times, not counting the multiples within each session. often insatiable, i just can't stop touching myself.

That material right there -- that's what I just used to help release some of my pent up frustration.

Normally, I don't fantasize while masturbating -- I just use visuals. Porn, pictures, my college co-ed neighbors out the window.

Normally, I don't fantasize while masturbating -- I just use visuals. Porn, pictures, my college co-ed neighbors out the window.

4 times a day for 14 years and your imagination ran dry?

You assume he used imagination in the beginning.

Can't you just wonder how menthol might make your privates feel?

been there, done that.

next.

next try a little battery acid.

And hook the battery up to your nipples.