Give me his address.

Jigga wha?

Kyle wants to come over and blow you. With a side of handy....

Well... If that's the case, he needs to shave that shit off of his face. And I like a kung-fu grip, rigorous but not strangling. Get that, Baggie?

It's almost impossible for me to get off from a blowjay without some hand action as well.

I can come from mouth only, and they are quite intense... From what I remember of blowjobs, anyway.

I think Daddy would take someone blowing air onto his cock at this point.

Are you making an offer?

Give me his address.

I'm confused ...



HAHAHAHAHA ....
I just noticed this just HAPPENED to be in the quotebox as I was typing this reply ...

If I go without blowing for two weeks, without fail I will wake up with my boxers stuck to my leg. Some sort of automatic expulsion time limit.

Was 'blowing' really the word you were looking for? Nevermind, of course it was...

It's more because I need the action on the shaft to get off. Just the head will not do.

It's a rare lady that has been able to get all the way down on the hawg.

That a positioning problem, usually.  If she's facing you, straight on, it goes against the natural curve of your cock AND her throat.

From a 69 position, there shouldn't be any problem, if her gag reflex is, errr,

dysfunctional?  lol

It's a rare lady that has been able to get all the way down on the hawg.

Did you seriously just unironically refer to your dick as "the hawg"? Tell me I'm wrong.

It's Kentucky. They call their dicks hawgs and their women piglets. With good reason. Still, it ain't West Virginny...

That fact that you even have to ask me makes me disappointed.

Whip it out and show him ....

Serious answer? (if anyone's even still following this.)  With Jenn back in '99, the third time I told her I was in love with her and she reacted like I was mentioning someone else's phone bill I'd gotten in the mail, I finally got tired of being used as a patsy with a wallet and just locked the door the next time she came over after telling her I didn't want her around anymore.  She got mad and banged on the door for a few minutes but finally just went home.

More recently is my alky, pill-popping sister.  She flushes a bottle of ambien down the toilet then tells our mother she took it.  She downs Xanax with whiskey and then goes on screaming rants about why doesn't everyone just give her money and let her do what she wants.  She gets drunk and calls me up at 2 AM threatening to kill herself and I'm too scared to just hang up on her because if she actually goes through with it I'll probably feel like shit for it for the rest of my life.  And if I piss her off she'll probably keep my nieces from seeing me, which are about the only two people in the fucking world that I really even give a shit about these days.  And they're gonna be fucked up because of the shit she does and that kills me.  Like just a few days ago, she brought them by to visit and was happy and lucid as could be, and two hours later I get a call from my father asking if I let her have any alcohol because she jumped out of the van on the way home and started laying down in front of Semi trucks on the highway.  Right in front of her husband and kids.  What the hell do you do with someone like that?  And the real fuck of it is that I don't really even give a shit about her or any of my family anymore besides my nieces, which probably makes me an asshole, but I'm just burned the fuck out on it all.

Do we have the same sister?  Seriously, wtf?  My sister just got out of jail yesterday and I let her come stay with me so that I could maybe get her to stop drinking and get a job.  I feel bad.  She is bleeding my father dry financially and he is getting ready to retire.  I consider this my retirement gift to him. 

Shes your twin right?

Yes, she is bizarro world Sasha.  Recently she took a cab to the lake and when the cabbie got her there she jumped out of the car and took off all of her clothes and swam to the other side of the lake so she wouldn't have to pay.  Then, since it was evening, she slept in her bathing suit in a lawn chair in someone's back yard because she got her phone wet and couldn't use it.  She got arressted for "theft of services."

I forgot about the cab ride by the time I got to "theft of services"... I was thinking... Sleeping in a lawn chair is "theft of services" ?

she sounds like a genius.

Wow, maybe we do have the same sister.

One of the nights after she called me up at 2 AM because she was fighting with my parents and her husband, she then went to her husband's work and started running up to his co-workers offering to fuck them for drugs.  Whenever her husband yells at her for drinking she just says, "It's ok, I'm just self-medicating, I learned about it in psychology class in college!" 

There's - He/she has issues/problems 

and there's - He/she is broken.

I am at a loss to describe some of the above posts... not that I have not seen it before, I just never know.