^what he said.
And, 4 dates a week... yes. And my sister is not perfect. You don't have to try to be perfect either.
(I can share everything because there is nothing left for anyone to judge or make fun of LOL)
Also, I wanted to say that your reasons for not wanting to make connections with people are very valid reasons. Once we have survived a hard crisis, something innate inside us makes attempts to avoid feeling that again. During my childhood, my siblings and I were regularly left home alone, the oldest of us being only 8 when it started. Naturally, I have developed a very big fear of abandonment. I get that totally.
Really, I think Aaron has a good point in having some random and very casual sex. You're young and at a point where your balls are trying to steer you, so maybe you could try some back-seat driving, if you will.
Also, it is my personal thought that there is Nothing wrong with asking women UPFRONT what their mental health history is.
I'm pretty open about my history, and I told my sister that she should ask all these dudes she is dating what their history is.
At first she thought I was nuts. (Go figure)
All it took was me reminding her about the time I...... well, really they are all the same story... I got involved with some man or woman, got immediately and insanely attached, drove them fucking crazy, they tried to leave, and I threatened suicide until they promised to never leave my sight again.
I just said, Sarah, I am not the only person who is batshit crazy, you know I am a complete mindfuck, and I am only one of a few who have found, attended, utilized, and graduated from DBT.......
She actually writes her own questions for potential dates now on OK Cupid... and they include a few questions about mental health and addiction history.
I think that is important.
Also, I think the very best way to start a relationship is to be willing to just be open and upfront from the beginning.
Kyle: So, what does your mental health and substance abuse history look like?
OKCupid Chick: mmmmm, I only slam meth on fridays.
Kyle: NEXT.