"Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl? Ever swallowed your own semen?"

That's the one that gets your clothing soiled.

"Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"

"Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"

THAT is a good one.

This crazy guy at the laundromat once told me he was the son of jesus. He told me that I had AIDS and that he could cure me, but that it would be painful.
That's gotta have been an attempt at a pick up line, yeah?

Only one way to find out.

"Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"

Artie Lange's dirty cop pal:

Well, see, I can take care of you but, uh, *glances down* you gotta take care of the kid...

this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."

That's pretty funny

this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."

Sweet. Maybe you could start giving out my number, too, and see how many are willing to go long distance for some touch.

*Looks at Drugmoth*

Sweet. Maybe you could start giving out my number, too, and see how many are willing to go long distance for some touch.

Don't go all Hilary Clinton now, she didn't say you were Sarah Mascara from Yabo St in Jugville, MI.

Nice yabos, can I motorboat them?

This site has EVERYTHING, upon further inspection ...

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

Thrash looks in the correct direction.

this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."

Yeah I've always wanted to go this route. Your noncommittal reporting of this incident leaves me with nothing, katie. Does this approach work?

On a related note, I asked a girl once if her boyfriend would be pissed if I brought her to a show that was coming up. I didn't actually know if she had a boyfriend, but I thought it would be a good out for her in case she wasn't into me. She said she actually didn't have a boyfriend and that she'd love to go, but then after a bit of making out at the show she tells me she just broke up with an ex and she doesn't want to get involved in anything else right now. So was my question about her boyfriend too casual and she didn't realize I was trying to pick her up or am I just a bad make out artist? I've always kind of been mystified by that incident.

Sounds like she just wanted to hang out and go to a show, but she didn't want to get married.

I wasn't bringing her to the show to select wedding music. I wanted a bit of friendly sex is all.
Anyway that doesn't really answer the question. Is it lame to ask about boyfriends? I mean it's a little contrived, but I think it's a pretty good way of asking "Are you available?" and saying "I'm interested" at the same time. Am I expecting too much to be read into what I'm asking?

EDIT: I haven't used this approach since that plan backfired, but I'm always tempted to.

Friendly sex. Heh. Angry sex is better.

Given all women have the same personality I think the answer is obvious.

Next time just ask if you can put your penis in her vagina. Whether she has a boyfriend or not... who cares?

I agree.

"Nice ass, wanna fuck?" is about as honest and to the point as you can get. Even if she doesn't really have a nice ass.

Then it really isn't that honest now, is it?

Man, you gotta go into pickin up a chick in stealth mode, and askin if she has a boyfriend isn't stealth mode.

Besides, who cares if she does anyway? Chicks pretty much go from guy to guy without much time between. Even if she does have a boyfriend it doesn't mean she's not looking for something better, so don't even ask.

As for katie's pick up line, it's funny and all but in most cases it's only going to get you someone to talk to for a few minutes. Most women want to feel like shit just happened spontaneously and they got swept off their feet by some really cool guy. By the time they're fucking they want to feel like they somehow lost themselves and wound up getting fucked by accident. That way they can rationalize it as not their fault. So, announcing off the bat that you're going to be hitting on her puts her on the spot right away. They really don't want to feel like they're some slut that can get picked up in a bar. (Yeah, yeah there are exceptions, but if they weren't exceptions we wouldn't have to work so hard at getting laid, would we?)

Anyway, that's why pickup lines are shitty. They put too much pressure on the girl, and if she ends up fucking you she'll feel like a slut about it and she's not gonna let that happen. You've preemptively shot yourself down.

Besides, who cares if she does anyway?

...unless you're interested in the boyfriend...

Well I don't want to shut off any options.

But yeah that makes a lot of sense krsna. I'll have to fight my impulses then.

Anyway, that's why pickup lines are shitty. They put too much pressure on the girl, and if she ends up fucking you she'll feel like a slut about it and she's not gonna let that happen. You've preemptively shot yourself down.

If you're bad at it.

"Hey, have you ever had your penis head bitten off during a blowjob? Wanna?"

A curt nod of the head and a politely reserved "Good evening" has worked wonders for me many a time.

good day

Ignoring a woman completely after being really polite and friendly for the first 40 seconds is another winner