Tell me some good ones.

One time one of my coworkers and I were waiting for the elevator. He had pushed the button once. The elevator was taking it's sweet ass time. He started hitting the button over and over really hard. I said, not even thinking about it, "If you beat it harder it will come up faster." It was funny...

A couple stupid pickup lines I've used:
Do you like Ensure?
How do you feel about the U.N.?

 

You steal that ensure one off of Carolyn, or are you looking for old-balls money?

I never use pick up lines for my own benefit.

For friends, however... see below.

I'm pretty sure she tried to pick up C with those lines.  You should try:  The name's Hume.  Brit Hume.


Engineering is constant stream of innuendos, since people talk about shafts, laying pipe, etc. all day.

Engineering? Try plumbing. All the couplings and male and female adapters... and then there's "snaking out the drain".

Those two pickup lines were used on guys when Carolyn and I were hanging out. They were based off of conversations we had earlier in the night.

My latest favorite related to "green construction" is I'll develop your brown field

Engineering is constant stream of innuendos, since people talk about shafts, laying pipe, etc. all day.

Emp talking about engineering around a campfire (guy next to him = another engineer).

They were based off of conversations we had earlier in the night.

Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl?
Ever swallowed your own semen?

Those weren't pick up lines, more like "I'm trying to scare you" lines.

Why can't it be the same thing?

Why can't you STOP BEING A FAG?

Why can't you STOP BEING A FAG?

That's the best pick up line so far!

I'd totally go home with you if you used that one

Yeah I'd feel like you'd issued me a challenge. Sort of like "Prove your heterosexuality if you can!"

Ok, but why don't you contributre to this thread with your own pick up line or innuendo???

Such as, I'd like to install your plugin. I'd like to embed your youtube.

Hey lady, can I remodel your back porch?

The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.

The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.

OMG I just jizzed in my pants.

Hey lady, can I remodel your back porch?

that's awesome!

"You're hot, lets go"

&

"I wouldn't mind seeing you again at my place an hour from now"

The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.

OMG I just jizzed in my pants.

It's works on female otis staff.

that dress is very becoming on you. of course, if i were on you, i'd be coming too.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you again at my place an hour from now"

hahahaha that's a good one

Pick up lines are lame. I do enjoy innuendo though. I'm a cunning linguist when I'm inspired.

How much?

How much?

Learn that in Japanese

I saw a guy walk up next to a girl at some gallery hop, lean over, and ask "Did you fart?"

It was epic.

How much?

Learn that in Japanese

I guess I'll need to learn numbers, too?

Counting in japanese is very odd. The word you use for the number changes depending on the nature of the thing you are counting.

So you can walk into a stationary store and say "7" in one way and get seven pens (cyclindrical things) or say "7" in another way and get seven sheets of paper (broad, flat things).

I'm not sure how this translates into picking up hookers. But I'd be careful in the brothel. You may end up with a three-way with two dudes if you say "2 cylindrical things"

At a party once my buddy Mike's first words to some chick he didn't know were, "So you're pregnant huh?" She wasn't, and didn't look it. I think he overheard some conversation and thought she was the subject of it.

Anyway, she had sex with him that night.