ct: today's breakfast (that i just inhaled) consisted of sliced tomato and avocado on hearty multigrain toast with soy butter and fresh cracked s&p
Fuck you for making a man even think about what eating something so terrible is like.
Tomatoes = repulsive.
Avocado = flavorless gelatin
multigrain = sand + cardboard
soy = gymsock
salt and pepper = the one thing you did right
What you are basically telling us is that you made the world's worst fucking salad, and then had the audacity to scoot a piece of the world's worst bread underneath its ass, thus magnifying your error.
Here is what I had for breakfast:
One egg and a little bit of milk, whipped and beaten like Jesus before the crucifixion, tossed into a pan already occupied by a small amount of frying deviled ham, scrambled together thoroughly never allowing any to brown or settle. After about a minute, everything is cooked to a light, yellow fluffiness, which is then crammed into half a piece of pita bread.
And then, it is fucking delicious. You know this because you have eaten it. You have eaten it because your body fucking told you to.