I've never heard Melissa fart ...
... I, however, fart on our cat every chance I get

Hahaha I fart in my cats face.

I did show her that episode of South Park as a precaution;
... I think she'll be ok

On of my felines, farted while he was sitting up bent over cleaning his stomach and it scared him so he jumped up and started sniffing around to see if there was some bug or critter making noise. I laughed for 10 minutes.

My Border Collie would look suspiciously at my Dachshund whenever he farted, kinda like he thought Auggie was doing things to his ass ...

The cats only care when it's cold and they want under the covers.

If I just do it in their face at random they don't seem to mind.

I've never heard Melissa fart ...
... I, however, fart on our cat every chance I get

Hahaha I fart in my cats face.

Wow, now I'm rethinking this act that amuses me so ...

My lesbian self is more predominant lately, so in the world of bi... I'm confused..... Maybe I'm tri. Tri, as in, two lesbians and one straight girl, all wrapped up in one.
Shit!- I can have threesomes all by myself then!

My llife has been up and down and up and down and back and forth the last while, both sexually and in terms of relationships and "dating" (still an odd concept to me).

But honestly I'm way too much of a pussy to post much about it, lest anyone stumble upon this board.

There isn't anything I've posted online, here or anywhere else, that is falsified or that isn't exactly how I am. That goes for what I do. I am this open in person too. I have no idea if having no online filter is a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm not worried about it either, and again, I have no idea if that's bad or not.
I even talk in circles like this in person. Haha

At least you aren't Suzie ...

Awe. What's wrong with Suzie? I like her. =) She has ADHD and that must be a bitch.

There isn't anything I've posted online, here or anywhere else, that is falsified or that isn't exactly how I am. That goes for what I do. I am this open in person too. I have no idea if having no online filter is a good thing or a bad thing.  I'm not worried about it either, and again, I have no idea if that's bad or not.
I even talk in circles like this in person. Haha

I don't have much of a filter, unless it involves other people. Sex/relationships kind of automatically do. And I'm pretty sure the only thing worse than me posting about jerking off would be reading about me jerking off, so I don't do that either.

I'll read anything. I'm just open like that.
But your post just opened my eyes to how
Awesome the world is, with all kinds of different people.
I'd forgotten for a bit, how much I love diversity.

Different People by No Doubt with lyrics

Awe. What's wrong with Suzie? I like her. =) She has ADHD and that must be a bitch.

Nothing, I love her ...
She's just .... Suzie ...

Who is suzie?


As for being open online, I'll let you all know when I get married. Until then assume I live under a rock.

You still will ...

So tell me, is there something wrong with me? This morning I awoke about 4am to find I had a nocturnal emission all over myself. A 31 year old with problems that a 13 year old has - what the hell. Sometimes this happened even after I had sex with my ex. It doesn't seem to matter how much sex or masturbation I have.

No ...
Remember, you're years behind in your "sexual age" ...

Yeah, you keep saying that, and I don't think it's true. I reckon he's about caught up, sexually. Maybe socially he's a little awkward, but who the fuck isn't? (Apart from Nick. Dude seems to have a lot figured out.)

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it, Kyle. It's happened to me from time to time over the years. The only time it sucks is when you don't remember the dream.

The only time it sucks is when you don't remember the dream.

This.

Also, this always weirded me out but my ex would get pissed off if I had one in my sleep. As in jealous. As in jealous that I was dreaming about fucking another girl. As in, Jesus Christ she had self-esteem problems.

True ...

My doesn't want to hear about my sex dreams anymore. I told her I had an odd dream, so she asked wat it was about.

I told her I was slowly defilex by three very hot transexuals.

She has never asked about by sex dreams since.

Hahahahaha!

What the?

I am very annoyed.  I try to have sex with the guy I am dating but he ends up either falling asleep or saying that he "just wants to get to know me" instead of doing it.  I was honest and said that I need sex four days a week or more and he got mad at me!  He said "is that all I am to you bleh blah bleh?!"  I don't get it at all.  I told him he should come over after work and do it with me three times this week and he has said he is too busy.  Monday night we went out to a movie, came back to my house, and then passed out.  I don't want a new best gay friend... I want someone I can have regular hot sex with.  This is stupid.

you should date more than one person at a time... those are pretty high expectations right there for one person to meet.

I don't think those are too high...That's what I'm used to as well, with my ex. Nearly every day of the week.

Sasha, he sounds like he wants a cock inside of him. Rape him to death like these wives did their husband:
http://www.inquisitr.com/285592/polygamist-businessman-allegedly-raped-to-death-by-his-six-wives/

Four days a week sounds about right, for a long term thing. Ought to be more at the beginning. Ought to be four times a day, seven days a week.

The joys of dating.