I dig licking ass but not having it done to me. I'm a giver.

I had three guys ask me out for tonight.  Nothing for so long and now three at once.  Why does that always happen to me?  


Why do guys shave their pubes?  To make their dick look bigger?

I am not a fan of shaved dongs.

I don't shave it, I take it down a notch or two ...

I trim a bit, but now I'm letting it grow out to hide my little red-faced devils.

I had three guys ask me out for tonight.  Nothing for so long and now three at once.  Why does that always happen to me? 

You should do 'em all at once... you got 3 holes.

I had three guys ask me out for tonight.  Nothing for so long and now three at once.  Why does that always happen to me? 

You should do 'em all at once... you got 3 holes.

If you want to take it up a notch, do five guys.

One each in the vagina, ass, mouth, and and both hands. Live up to your potential, Sasha!

or the mythical DVDA... the other dude can take photographic evidence.

I have been a part of a DV and a DA, but never a DVDA.

Just rubbing your penis against another man's penis inside of a woman doesn't nullify gayness.

You're gay now.

What if he was the V and the A in the DV and DA?

Dude, please. We've seen in in assless panties and getting a fire plug rammed in his ass. There aren't 4 men on earth that would touch him individually, much less at the same time...

Dude, please. We've seen in in assless panties and getting a fire plug rammed in his ass. There aren't 4 men on earth that would touch him individually, much less at the same time...

What if he was the V and the A in the DV and DA?

It's not like I've got a hatchet wound vagina or anything.

Clone your johnson for some non-gay, non-penis touching, DA or DV fun. Or if you ever wondered what it feels like to bend over and take advantage of your self.

OK this time I'm throwing the book at you.

15 YARDS FOR ROUGHING THE READER!!! second down!

Dude, please. We've seen in in assless panties and getting a fire plug rammed in his ass. There aren't 4 men on earth that would touch him individually, much less at the same time...

WTF did I do?

I had three guys ask me out for tonight.  Nothing for so long and now three at once.  Why does that always happen to me?  

...and even with that, you went to have dinner with me.  awww! 

She's already said that she likes the chubz, man ...

I hope you practiced safe sex...

I hope you practiced safe sex...

...at dinner?

it wasn't a casual encounter, kyle.

His is slowly not becoming one as well ...

Just sayin'. I don't take girls out to dinner unless I wanna fuck 'em. Or maybe if it's their birthday or something.

Just sayin'. I don't take girls out to dinner unless I wanna fuck 'em. Or maybe if it's their birthday or something.

What did you do with them for the first quarter century of your life?

Just sayin'. I don't take girls out to dinner unless I wanna fuck 'em. Or maybe if it's their birthday or something.

You say "out to dinner" like it's some kind of magical thing. Didn't I read that you eat out all the time? You eat out alone?

Just sayin'. I don't take girls out to dinner unless I wanna fuck 'em. Or maybe if it's their birthday or something.

What did you do with them for the first quarter century of your life?

I took them out in HOPES that I would end up fucking them. Taking a girl out to dinner has almost always been about sex, whether or not I was getting any at the time.

He did qualify that by saying "unless I wanna..."

So you could call the first 25 years of his life a failure.

Like we haven't for the past 10 years...

Taking a girl out to dinner has almost always been about sex, whether or not I was getting any at the time.

Ever go out to eat with your mom?

Taking a girl out to dinner has almost always been about sex, whether or not I was getting any at the time.

Ever go out to eat with your mom?

Nice try.

Just sayin'. I don't take girls out to dinner unless I wanna fuck 'em. Or maybe if it's their birthday or something.

Luke took Carolyn and I out to dinner, and we all know how THAT turned out.