Still working on this.

Not interested in a video of you doing your chick.

By thr way, when do we get to go on a double-date? 

I like the idea of a clone a vag.  If you're not in the mood you can just throw it at the guy and say, "this should be quite like the original."

The problem with that is once the guy realizes it's easier to fuck the clone than put up with a girl's bullshit, you'll be finding yourself relegated to household chores and the occasional "sup?" in passing in the hallway.

After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend.  Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.

No cloned pussy yet. I forgot to ask her to bring it over last night. We had a great time yesterday, and last night.

She got her results back from the STD tests and everything is negative. Sweet! As I said in another thread my Molloscum has been gone a little over two weeks, and all I have left are a few (4) red spots/scars from where I tore the things off.

Last night we came back to my place and had a lot of fun. She fucked herself with my cloned cock while I masturbated. The smile on her face was priceless... she said she loves seeing guys jerk off. When I blew my load, it was a fucking geyser and covered her chest. She was like "WOW that was a lot of cum!"

Also, we figured out that fucking herself with the rubber cock isn't easy. It has to be well lubed up to work - I guess the rubber against skin is not too condusive.
 

Thank you for ruining my already low sex drive.

Oh yeah, and this is all I need to think of when I close my eyes and I'm really perfectly fine:

Dude she's pretty bleh.

YOUR MOM IS PRETTY BLEH.

She's got pretty feet though...

She's got pretty everything.

Including 7 twin sisters!

Zing!

No shape whatsoever.

No shape whatsoever.

Assuming you are referring to the shape of a cock under her pants?
Fag.

She's hot.

One of the few times I'll agree with Kyle.

After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend.  Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.

Which one's this; my friend has fucked 'em all in his quest to either
1) avoid women for a (long) while
2) get satisfaction while he is actually in the closet
or
3) realize he's a dork with no game and couldn't get a woman if he tried 'cause he looks like Doctor Sinister on The Flintstones

... he says they are all shit and are nothing like the real thing, however, It's not been incentive for him to at least get a fuckbuddy

You fucking closeted homos ...

Dylan, why don't you just go all the way.

After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend.  Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.

Which one's this; my friend has fucked 'em all in his quest to either
1) avoid women for a (long) while
2) get satisfaction while he is actually in the closet
or
3) realize he's a dork with no game and couldn't get a woman if he tried 'cause he looks like Doctor Sinister on The Flintstones

... he says they are all shit and are nothing like the real thing, however, It's not been incentive for him to at least get a fuckbuddy

You fucking closeted homos ...

I actually forget the brand but it was the most expensive one down from the fleshlight.

Hmmm, I'll ask him; he's probably fucked it before ...
I know he's tried a FleshLight ...
I don't remember what he thought of it ...

Ok, so I got the first present in (I am not going to share with you all the rest of them because they aren't that interesting) for my lady friend.

It's a DVD -- can anybody guess what DVD?



Hint:

Jewish Handjobs Part 2?

Bee Movie?

gifts?? yeah, shes your girlfriend.

gifts?? yeah, shes your girlfriend.

not necessarily.  remember costa rica?

oh yeah. that was weird. and screamed "i'm desperate".

Kyle's bought his partner one more thing this year than I've bought mine.

If you exclude rent, utilities and food that is.

Yeah, I'm conceding on the boy/girl friend thing. We still haven't talked about it, but she's calling me hun and I'm calling her sweets n shit now after this past weekend hanging out over 24hours.

Lame fucking guessers. Why do you think I would ask about the DVD in the SEX forum? When we were at the porno shop buying the Clone-A-Pussy we looked through their porn movies. We saw this hilarious looking (from the cover) Seinfeld XXX porn and she said we should rent it one day. (They didn't have it on sale). Then, last weekend she mentioned it again after the topic of masturbating and porn came up, and she said she was actually going to try and buy it.

Well... she doesn't have to! Her birthday is next week, and haha she will love it.

Seinfeld XXX Parody

Why do I sort of feel like De Niro, in Taxi Driver though?

Also, I'm part trashy AND classy. I am thinking of taking her to this place: http://austinist.com/2009/08/06/south_austins_olivia_in_bon_appetit.php voted among Bon Appetit's (the magazine) Top 10 Best New Restaurants in America.

Dude, that's funny ...

Thanks for conceding ....

It means a lot to Tricky ...

According to Lucky (and quotebox) you're supposed to buy her a piece of jewelry with the word "cumbucket" inscribed on it.

Soon.

that Sienfeld thing looks funny.

Yeah, Kyle; rip me a copy of it ...

That is the worst gift ever.

That's what your mom said about you after someone told her that children are gifts from God.